Shark Week: 24 Hours of the Best & Worst Sharks in Film, Part V
“Shark Week” is a six part series dedicated to the education and preservation of one of nature’s oldest, most efficiently evolved species. Nah, just kidding. It’s about people getting eaten as fast as possible. Each week, I’ll be documenting my journey through 36 of the best and worst shark-based films Hollywood has to offer. I’ll watch each film at various playback speeds depending on how good or bad I expect that film to be. Consequently, my comprehension of the plots may vary but chances are there wasn’t much of one to begin with. Here we go again.
I’m looking forward to this week, and not just because we’re only doing two movies today. Rather, the first film is by all accounts one of the better shark films around and the other...is...a movie? This week is acting as a sort of breather before we go all in over the next two weeks with The Asylum’s most popular franchise.
#16: The Reef (2010) - Sp. 1x, Run - 1:28
dir. Andrew Traucki
Being one of the higher rated films on the list, I’m definitely watching The Reef at normal speed. First thing of note, though, is the tag, “based on true events.” We’ve heard this tale before and it’s not exactly an indicator of quality. This time, a group of friends is out delivering a yacht to Indonesia when they get stranded on a shallow reef as the tide goes out on them. Sound familiar? You’re not wrong. The boat capsizes and the group makes their way onto the hull, Jaws 2 style. The difference so far in this film versus previous ones on the list, everyone in this movie seems to know at least vaguely what they’re doing or, at the very least, make decisions that are rational given what we know about each of them. Given what we’ve seen so far in this series, this is some high praise.
Of the two experienced sailors of these waters, each has a different idea of their next course of action. Luke, recognizing that they’re going to be subject to the current and will only drift further out to sea—and likely sink on the way—recommends that they try to swim for nearby Turtle Island, which he knows to be generally north. The ocean’s not that big, right? Warren, on the other hand, says he’s seen firsthand the things that live in these waters and flat out refuses. He prefers to wait it out, hoping that either a ship or plane spots them in time. They split up—those who will stay and those who will go—and scavenge supplies from the wreckage. Kate is the only one that wants to stay with Warren but as the other three start to head out, she changes her mind; I presume because Warren is only a little bit creepy. Only Warren is left on the boat. Yeah, we’re never gonna see him again.
“We know there are sharks in the water; we even see one now and then. But the danger is, for the most part, unseen. We hear a splash and by the time we locate the source, it’s gone. ”
Shortly after they leave the yacht, the group comes across a dead, half-eaten sea turtle. Not an ideal omen for anyone going to Turtle Island, eh, guys? After swimming for a bit farther, they’re starting to tire and begin bantering a bit. This moment of lightheartedness is quashed when a nearby splash is heard. Unable to see much of anything, the tone is set for the rest of the film. The tension is palpable. We know there are sharks in the water; we even see one now and then. But the danger is, for the most part, unseen. We hear a splash and by the time we locate the source, it’s gone.
More time passes and the psychology of their situation is the most damning thing for the swimmers. Every splash and wave gets them jumping and despite their insistence that they have to keep moving, they’re all pretty reluctant to actually go anywhere. When the shark finally decides to say hey, everyone is understandably panicking. Unfortunately, losing their cool makes them begin thrashing about—making themselves that much more of an enticing target for an opportunistic predator.
The way the perspective shifts between the frantic above-water shots of hyperventilating humans and the near-silent underwater pictures of the shark fading in and out of view is some of the best photography I’ve seen in the series. When the shark goes on its first exploratory pass, it’s a genuinely effective jump scare. The event makes them lose one of their flotation devices so Matt decides to retrieve it. Big mistake. The shark seizes its chance and—with real shark footage, I might add—comes in fast, tearing off his leg. Matt knows his fate; he urges them to move on without him and as they swim out, Luke looks back to watch Matt’s lifeless body quietly get pulled beneath the surface.
Night falls and the swimmers take a much needed rest. Thankfully, we cut to morning and it seems no one is any worse for wear. In fact, Kate is able to spot a patch of land. Taking a break on a small outcrop of reef, they gain strength for what they hope to be the final stretch of their journey. The land they see isn’t the island they were looking for, but it is land, and their best shot at survival. Sliding back into the water, they set off with about as much confidence as a puppy looking at his first set of stairs. After a brief scare from a dolphin, Suzie gets chomped in a matter of seconds. It’s over so fast they barely have time to process what just happened.
Just 100 yards or so from land, Kate cuts her foot which is obviously trouble. They wrap it as best they can and try to make the final sprint to the finish. Kate makes it but as Luke begs her to pull him up, the shark strikes, dragging down one more victim. There is a 100% chance that Luke’s final moments will haunt Kate’s dreams for the rest of her life. The movie ends with a brief description of Kate’s rescue.
I’m glad I took my time with this one. The Reef was a truly entertaining movie that kept me invested from start to finish. It’s fascinating to me what such minor tweaks to a plot can do to make a movie feel so much better than other similar counterparts. I can’t stress enough how effective realistic depictions of shark attacks can be. It doesn’t take much; knowledge of the invisible abyss below you is pretty much all you need to be frightened. This is a film I needed to savor because from here, it’s going to be a while until I see another A-list picture.
#17: Psycho Shark (2009) - Sp. 3x, Run - 23 min
dir. John Hijiri
An alternative title for this movie is Jaws in Japan, and the tagline is: “Beautiful girls are in danger.” Color me intrigued. It opens on some found footage (surprise) that shows a couple of girls. The girls are beautiful. I have a terrible feeling they’re going to be in danger fairly soon. Tension builds as the beautiful girls splash in the water, interspersed with a camera moving slowly through the water and a soundtrack that is legally different from Jaws. The beautiful girls are unsuspecting. I’m terrified. Watch out behind you, beautiful girls. You are in da—nothing. Cut away to another girl, could be beautiful but maybe not, we only see part of her face. She’s in the dark watching an old TV. Did I sit on the remote and switch to The Ring? No, still Psycho Shark. She’s watching the footage we found of the beautiful girls. What happened to the beautiful girls? TITLE CARD. Good complement to The Reef so far. My expectations going forward are rock bottom, so this should be good.
We’re following new girls who seem to be hitchhiking to the beach in the back of a pickup truck. They are beautiful. When they get to their motel, they are given a complimentary video camera to record their trip. Is that a thing in Japan, because in the U.S., that sounds...creepy. These two end up reproducing essentially the same beach shots with the free camera as the previous girls did. This is clearly a trend on this shore and no good can come of it. Also, the beach is eerily private. One of the girls is having a post-swim shower and we are weirdly watching from behind a video camera. Oh dang, there is a dude next to her. One of the girls meets a guy and goes down to barbecue on the beach with him. The other girl finds a tape of previous visitors. If this is a motel management voyeurism racket, it’s a really sloppy one.
Cutting to the barbecue, it is just this girl and the dude she just met. Girl, you are on a trip with your friend and you just straight up ditch her? Not very cool. Not very smart either, but hey. Another shower and girl is getting suspicious. She rips open the curtain and we cut to video freak-out girl bleeding in the corner of the shower, back to the current girl, she’s also bleeding and cowering while someone holds a video camera to their face. Hang on, let’s pause for a minute. I have no clue what just happened. If I wasn’t watching at triple speed, maybe it would have been more comprehensible but I don’t think so—that just made absolutely no sense.
We basically forget all about the shower and cut to more footage from the motel room. I’m pretty sure this is the “before” group. Back in the shower for a second and the girl there is suspicious but again, I don’t think this is the same girl as either of the two we just saw bleeding. How many groups are there? Dudebro and barbeque girl are taping themselves in the water before they run out of tape. A few other faceless dudebros exchange a stack of videotapes for a little shark figurine. Ominous.
In the “today” motel room, this beautiful girl is watching more “before” footage and sees some disturbing shots of beautiful girls falling into the water and then blood...existing. Rather than narrate this whole thing, I’m just going to cut to the chase. We don’t actually see any action until about 5 minutes left in the film. The beautiful girls are worried about some psychotic tendencies of the dudebro. For example, he gets the girl he’s wooing to close her eyes and is tracing her body with a knife. She doesn’t seem to realize it’s a knife. Seriously, he does this for a solid minute and a half. They push him into the water but he climbs out, knife in hand. The motel manager is videotaping. What is the deal with the videotapes? Suddenly, from behind dudebro, the shark emerges. People, this shark is the most insane thing I’ve ever seen. It 100% looks like Bruce from Finding Nemo, but it’s like 20 feet tall. The manager points the camera up and we get a reverse shot showing Bruce in the freaking sky, ready to drop down from above. I have no idea what this movie was about but the girls were beautiful.
article written by ande thomas
Ande loves the intersection of sci-fi and horror, where our understanding of the natural world clashes with our fear of the new and unknown. He writes about monsters and foreign horror and can also be found over on Letterboxd.
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